When we think of lies in relationships, infidelity springs instantly to mind.
But there are other things just as harmful to your relationship as cheating.
Financial lies, lies about your past, omitting to mention you have an addiction to something, that you're not actually who you said you were…
Trust is fragile and any lie jeopardises it.
Having said that, there isn't a person alive who hasn't told a 'white' lie. White lies are what I call 'kind lies'.
Saying the ghastly present your partner bought is just what you wanted; the 'No you're not going bald', 'Have you put on weight? I didn't notice' lies we tell others to spare them pain.
These lies are 'prosocial lies' and far from making you a bad person, they usually mean you're a compassionate person who has a high degree of empathy.
We tell most prosocial lies at the start of relationships, when we're desperate for our partner to see us as perfect. 'You're a vegan. I love vegan food!' says the 'serve it like it's still mooing' steak girl. 'We're going camping? Great!' when you're five-star or nothing.
You jump the bridge between 'kind' and 'selfish' when you start to tell lies to keep yourself out of trouble – often through omitting to mention something.
This is a lie by omission.
'Sorry I'm late. I stopped off at Pete's to pick up some tools to do those DIY jobs you've been nagging me about,' might well be truthful. The omission - that Pete took another detour to see his mistress to have sex for half an hour - isn't.
ADDICTION LIES
'My husband was a successful financial consultant who managed other people's portfolios. Unbeknown to me, he also had a gambling problem. Quite early in to our marriage, I figured he was hiding something: there was too much time unaccounted for.
Should you confess?
Spending lies are 'time bomb' lies: it's not a matter of if you'll get found out, it's when. At some stage, the debtors are going to come calling.
As with any lie about anything, admission is better than being caught out. It may still come as a shock but owning up to an addiction that's about to blow up in your face is infinitely preferable to merely waiting for the explosion.
-Dailymail