To some, 14th February means the day they dedicate their energy to showing pure love and passion to their loved ones while to some – It’s the annual lying date.
But why lie, you ask? Well picture this; You have been running around with three different men or women and you are afraid of losing them altogether since all of them are already planning for a Valentine’s day getaway with you.
So what do you do? You decide to invent some of the world’s greatest lies in order to avoid being entangled in cat fights and heart breaks, after all, all ‘services’ resume on 15th February.
Below are some of the lies Kenyans tend to use to avoid showing up on Valentine’s day either because they are too broke for it or have multiple partners.
Babe I got arrested
Well we all know how this one goes especially if Valentine’s day falls on a weekend. A fellow will fake an arrest and since in Kenya once you are arrested over the weekend you get to taste freedom on Monday, this one works pretty well.
My mum is hospitalized
If the lie about spending 14th February behind bars does not work, then how about lying about your elderly mother being hospitalized? To put ‘icing’ on the cake, you claim that you are your mother’s only next of kin who is around to look after her. That’s how you dodge Cupid’s arrow!
My Car broke down
This has to be the notorious one.
A Jamaa planning to take his clande to Naivasha will drive all the way out of town, and since his girlfriend expects him to pick her up in the evening for a few drinks what does he do? He fakes an emergency.
He will call her at around 6pm and claim his car has mechanical issues. Wait for it, he only trusts one mechanic and he’s quite far so he will have to wait for him or get his car towed. One hour ends up being the entire night and viola! Before you know it it’s February 16th!
My bank remains closed on ‘holidays’
This may sound lame but imagine the number of people on this God’s given earth who still believe Valentine’s day is another holiday, celebrated all over the world.
So picture a smart lady or man claiming that he rushed to the bank to withdraw some cash ahead of their date only for them to find them ‘closed for holidays’. Smart huh?
Out of town for work
Well this one is as easy as it comes. You call your lover in advance and notify them that you will be travelling out of town on a mandatory trip. what do you do? Cuddle yourself!
On my period
*Coughs*. Dear ladies saseeeeni? Sounds familiar? Yes? No? Ok bye!